Deprogramming

Gen 3:11 And He said, “Who told you that you were naked?

  In the 1970's a study was done that pitted college students into adversarial roles; prison guards and inmates.Those assigned as inmates stayed within the confines of their cells, and those appointed guards were allowed to carry on life as usual after their duties each day. The two-week study was aborted after 6 days due to the psychological changes that took place within each participant. The prisoners took on the role of powerless captive, and the guards became aggressive authoritarians lacking compassion. They had allowed their situation to change them, even though it wasn't real.

  As Christians, we need to realize that not only does God exist, so does Satan and his minions. There is evil in the world, and it doesn't come from God.

John 10:10
The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

Ephesians 6:12
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

  Adam and Eve didn't know they were naked until the devil told them they were. They didn't feel shame until he impressed upon them that they should. What is he telling you, directly and indirectly through the people around you? We all have those people who delight in making us feel less than worthy. People who will cause us, at some point in time, to doubt our self-worth, our morality, our integrity, and even our ability to be loved. We are placed in situations that have the potential to make us believe we are what we are not.

  But, I ask you, who told you that? Was it God? No, God will never tell you that you aren't loved when you are, or place condemnation and shame on you when you have done your best. Those things are not from God. Those things are from Satan himself, and it's the same manipulative tactics he's used for thousands of years. He even used them on Jesus himself...

 

  However, Jesus never doubted His identity or His purpose. He knew that He was who God said He was, and nothing less.

And so are you.

  So, the next time you hear, either audibly, or somewhere in your wounded psyche, that you are less than what God says you are, ask yourself, "Who told me that?"

And never, ever believe a liar...



Maintenance

I've heard them hundreds of times throughout my life. They comes from the lips of fathers, brothers and husbands everywhere. If you're a woman, I know you've heard them too. They are phrases that include, but are not limited to,

"When's the last time you checked the oil in this thing?"

"That tire's low, better stop and get some air 'fore it goes flat. Make sure you check the sidewall to see how much to put in it. Don't over-inflate!"

"What's your antifreeze readin' at? Winter's comin'"

....and so on and so on.

They focus on maintenance, upkeep and prevention. After all, a ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right? (Plus they know, in most cases, they are the ones who have to fix it, or pay to have it fixed.)

But, sometimes, just maybe, they forget about something just as important. Something they depend on every day. Something they would miss if they woke up one day and it was gone...

Much like the earth itself, women are viewed by their families as having unlimited resources. They are drawn from on a regular basis, but rarely are they attended to. One would not think of driving one's car endlessly without paying attention to the gas gauge! Let a man smell the slightest hint of "hot" coming from under his hood and he's pulling over to investigate. My own would emphatically state, "This vehicle is not moving one inch further. Call a wrecker." They are very intune to those potential mehanical failures, but often miss the damage they cause their relationships through unrealized neglect. It's not intentional, any more than a teenager running out of gas.

Still, it doesn't change the outcome. Your car still won't run.

 But your wife might...

Fellas, it's like this...You either love her, or you don't. You either want her, or you'd rather be without her. But ignoring her and neglecting her should never be acceptable. As women we are born into competition. We feel it from the moment another little girl says, "I'm prettier than you." From that day forward, we continuely compare ourselves to the other women around us. We look to you for validation. We look to you for approval. Many may not admit it, but we need you to say you notice, and appreciate, what we do. We need to know that we have your full attention, if only for a hour. A look, a touch, a soft word. Listen to your wife as closely as you listen to your engine. Be mindful of those subtle changes in her response time, in the sound of her voice. Notice when things might be getting a little over-heated and stop long enough to investigate. If you don't, the whole thing might just blow up in your face...

Malnutrition

Psalms 34:8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.


When my daughter took her (then) boyfriend to meet her grandmother, the first thing she told him was, "She's gonna wanna feed you." Sure enough, Grandma offered up a plethora of choices ranging from pies and puddings to soups and casseroles. Never, ever does anyone leave her house hungry. If you do it's your own dang fault. I dare say that none of us have ever arisen from a table full of food still hungry, unless we were limiting ourselves for a reason.

My husband often questions the lack of knowledge and understanding many Christians seem to exhibit. "They stand there and say they're in church every Sunday, but their lives are an emotional train wreck. How can they not know how to find peace?"

It's a little like sitting down, starving, at a table full of food and not eating a bite.

The bible tells us to "taste" the Lord and see that He is good. Taste is the only sense that is basically voluntary and self-controlled. You can hear things you don't want to hear, feel things you don't want to feel, see things you don't want to see, (just go to the beach!) and smell things you'd rather not smell. (reference the song "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road.) But rarely do we taste something without our consent. We open up, draw it inside ourselves and experience it's flavor and texture in order to determine if it's "good" or not.

God is good in so many ways! He has a multitude of flavors and textures to explore. He can fill the emptiness inside you and satisfy the hunger that is eating away at you. He has a table full of blessing spread out before you, just waiting for you to partake of the feast! His bounty is endless, and it's available to you the moment you sit at His table.

Just remember, if you walk away hungry, it's your own dang fault...

June 4, 1928-Novemeber 14, 1979

  My Pastor has a saying,

 "God will forgive you, but the laws of nature may not." In other words, while God has promised to offer you forgiveness for whatever sin you may have committed, the self-abuse of your body is at the mercy of nature itself...

...And she is a vicious Mistress.

As this holiday of remembrance and reflection moves into full swing, I am reminded of the one man who fits this bill more than any.

My father.

As a child, my first memories of my father were of a man who seemed very old and very ill. Cardiovascular disease had started it's erosive process, and to my dismay, my father made no attempts to thwart it. If anything, he assisted in his own drawn out demise. The Dr. said "Lose weight." Dad said "I'll eat what I want." The Dr. warned, "If you continue smoking, it's going to kill you." Dad said "A man's gotta die of something." The Dr. said, "Get some exercise!" Dad said "I can't breath now."

And on and on and on.....

Slowly, but surely, I could see not only battles being lost, but the war as well. A heart attack here, a stroke there, blood clots cropping up in various limbs. Speech slowing, gait becoming more unsteady, and yet the bad habits continued.
No amount of begging, pleading, or cajoling could stop him from his self-destruction,  or from his suicidal tendency. He was more in love with his murderers than he was with anyone in his family.

I can still recall the moment when the gravity of the situation hit me right between the eyes. My sister was contemplating marriage, and I asked my father if he could give her away without crying. He assured me he could. Then I asked him if he was going to give me away when I married the man of my dreams. He took a drag off is camel stud and shook his head. I teased him by saying "What? You're not going to let me go?" Without looking at me, he simply said "I'll be dead by the time you marry."

He was an honest man at least.

My father was dead by the time I married. He was dead before I went to the prom, before I  got my license, before I learned how to drive, even before I entered high school.

Gone. Fini. Dead.

Today I challenge each one of you to take a long look at yourself, your life, and the decisions you are making that will impact not only your future, but the future of those you love, and those who love you.

 Step back and ask yourself if you want to be a memory, or make one.

two shoes

Jeremiah 29:11

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

My daughter, Nikki, called me to tell me "a funny" on my granddaughter Maci, who will be 3 in May...

"I took the girls and bought them some new shoes at Kohl's. For some reason Maci just starting crying and screaming 'My shoes, my shoes!' I couldn't figure out what her issue was. I finally threatened her with putting her shoes back and taking a trip to the bathroom if she didn't stop. So she flipped the box open and said 'Mama, I got two feet, but you only got me one shoe!' That's when I realized she couldn't see the other shoe because it was wrapped up in the tissue paper. I pointed it out and she smiled and said 'ooohhh, it was there the whole time'!"

Christians often act the same way.

How many times have we fretted because God hasn't let us see the blessing that is still wrapped up in the box? How many times have we doubted that He has provided for us completely, instead of just partially. How many times have we accused Him of only giving us one shoe?

As our  Father, God will never neglect us, abuse us or short-change us. He is not a God of half-love, half-truths or half-blessings. He is the God of too much, the God of over-abundance. If we will take the time to discover the truth about His goodness and mercy we will realize that His blessings abound, even if we don't see them right away. With patience and faith we will soon discover that it, indeed, was there the whole time...

It's all in the tellin'

Throughout my life there have been only a handful of places where I felt truely comfortable. Not just welcomed, but an actual piece to the puzzle, an integral part of the whole. A feeling as if, during it's creation, the creator thought of me.

One of those places was the farm on which I grew up. The creek that ran through it sang me to peace many times. The killdeer that scurried about brought hours of laughter and enjoyment. The smell that is horse sweat, leather and sweet feed assail me still, when I have the courage to let my memory wander back that far.


A few short miles from my own personal heaven was another. It was the home of my Godparents, and my parents' best friends, the Peines.

As a young girl, I remember visiting their house of an evening with my parents. The ladies would converge in the living room, and the men would sit around the kitchen table and talk dogs, horses, and anything else that came to mind. The room was full of colorful phrases and booming laughter, hot coffee and cigarette smoke...and one small girl, sitting at her father's feet, or occasionally on his knee. This was my entertainment. To me, it was better than Ringling Brothers, the county fair or the school carnival. Attempts to entice me into the living room were ignored.

The ladies were boring!
The men....well...they had stories to tell. They also had mannerism and habits to which my mother prefer I not be exposed. "Get your feet off the table Tom Peine!" became such a catch phrase in our family, my oldest granddaughter actually asked me one day who he was. Apparently she had put her feet on her Mama's kitchen table, and when swatted for doing so, was admonished in the same way I had been during my own childhood!

Unfortunately, time takes us all captive. People die, farms are sold, your welcome grows cold...but the memories, oh how the memories remain....

Long after my father died, I went to visit his best friend on Memorial Day. I chose to do that over putting flowers on the grave that holds his earthly remians.
As we sat on the back porch silently enjoying the sunshine, Tom took a deep breath, squinted out over the field in front of us and said, "I sure do miss your daddy."

I whispered, "So do I."

He then began to smile, the smile turning into laughter as he spoke,

 "Did I ever tell you about the time...."

For the Good of the Child...

1 Samuel 1:26-28
'...and she said to him, “Pardon me, my lord. As surely as you live, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the LORD. ²⁷ I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. ²⁸ So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD.” And he worshiped the LORD there.

The above words were spoken by Hannah, mother of Samuel. She had a miracle child, and like most mothers, she loved him very deeply. So much in fact, she gave him back to the Lord, because she felt like it was the best thing for him. She did not think of herself, or what she desired. She only had her child's best interests at heart. Samuel became a great prophet in Israel. Something he would not have done if his mother had sought her own will for him.

I wonder if the parents of children suffering through a divorce ever think of their children's welfare the way Hannah did Samuel's.
In most cases, it seems very doubtful.

People have often asked me how my ex and I kept things so civil. I tell them it was fairly easy. We both continue to parent our children together, and put their feelings far above our own. Though both of us had obvious faults and failings, loving our daughters wasn't one of them.
Holidays were their choice. Weekends too.
They never asked me "Can I go to dad's" they just said "I'm going to dad's"
He only stopped being my husband, he did not stop being their father.

Divorce does not give the custodial parent exclusive rights to a child's love and affection.

Divorce does not give anyone the right to degrade a child's parent. Children don't need to hear negative comments about their mother or father. It's emotionally detrimental, and completely unnecessary!

Divorce does not give anyone the right to undermine another's relationship with a child.

And it certainly doesn't make it ok to keep a child from someone they love, and who loves them,  just out of spite.

While I do realize there are situations in which children may not understand the need to be protected from an unstable parent, more often than not, it's simply one parent trying to "one up" the other.  This is done when one's hatred for their ex exceeds their love for their child.Their need to destroy the other person becomes so intense, they never notice their son or daughter has become a casualty.

Damage, pain, fear, emotional torment...sounds suspiciously like abuse...doesn't it?