For the Good of the Child...

1 Samuel 1:26-28
'...and she said to him, “Pardon me, my lord. As surely as you live, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the LORD. ²⁷ I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. ²⁸ So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD.” And he worshiped the LORD there.

The above words were spoken by Hannah, mother of Samuel. She had a miracle child, and like most mothers, she loved him very deeply. So much in fact, she gave him back to the Lord, because she felt like it was the best thing for him. She did not think of herself, or what she desired. She only had her child's best interests at heart. Samuel became a great prophet in Israel. Something he would not have done if his mother had sought her own will for him.

I wonder if the parents of children suffering through a divorce ever think of their children's welfare the way Hannah did Samuel's.
In most cases, it seems very doubtful.

People have often asked me how my ex and I kept things so civil. I tell them it was fairly easy. We both continue to parent our children together, and put their feelings far above our own. Though both of us had obvious faults and failings, loving our daughters wasn't one of them.
Holidays were their choice. Weekends too.
They never asked me "Can I go to dad's" they just said "I'm going to dad's"
He only stopped being my husband, he did not stop being their father.

Divorce does not give the custodial parent exclusive rights to a child's love and affection.

Divorce does not give anyone the right to degrade a child's parent. Children don't need to hear negative comments about their mother or father. It's emotionally detrimental, and completely unnecessary!

Divorce does not give anyone the right to undermine another's relationship with a child.

And it certainly doesn't make it ok to keep a child from someone they love, and who loves them,  just out of spite.

While I do realize there are situations in which children may not understand the need to be protected from an unstable parent, more often than not, it's simply one parent trying to "one up" the other.  This is done when one's hatred for their ex exceeds their love for their child.Their need to destroy the other person becomes so intense, they never notice their son or daughter has become a casualty.

Damage, pain, fear, emotional torment...sounds suspiciously like abuse...doesn't it?