Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Parenting skills

Heb 12:6 "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth"

One of the worst offenses of parenthood is opting to be a child's friend, instead of their parent. It's often easier in the "now" to avoid those hard lines, and hard decisions, by being understanding and sympathetic. It takes less thought and less energy to just say "whatever you want, sweetheart." in order to  circumvent a child's wrath. Unfortunately, there are others in the world that couldn't give a rat's hind end what someone else's kid thinks, or feels, or wants. There are rules and regulations, and the rest of the world isn't going to make the concessions you do in order to keep Jr. happy and smiling.

The hard part of parenting is setting boundaries and drawing lines. A mother who says "This ain't happening in my house" and gives the teenager a choice to either comply or leave, is actually setting the example of how the world really works. It doesn't mean that mother doesn't love her child enough to die for them. It just means that she won't compromise ethics and morals in order to avoid confrontation. Often times, this means a temporary severing of the relationship until said child is able to perform a much needed cranial-rectal separation. Again, the mother's (or father's) love is not in question. They are simply standing their ground.

God does this too. When we are living in a blatantly disobedient state, He isn't going to move His boundaries to keep us inside His protective walls. He still loves us, and if we call Him and ask for help, He'll be there, but our relationship with Him is definitely affected by our behavior. When we do finally figure it out He'll be anxiously awaiting our return, just as an earthly parent would be.

In order to be your child's friend, you must first be a parent. God is my friend. But He is my Dad, first and foremost, cause sometimes, a girl just needs her Daddy...