Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Insight and Ignorance

Today I held a precious grandchild of mine while she cried tears of frustration and anger over a comment made by a judge. The judge informed her the man she refers to as "Daddy" is not, nor will ever be, her "real dad". In the judge's opinion, the man who ended up in jail with multiple counts of criminal activity, who was abusive and manipulative, and who has earned nothing but loathing from this child, is her "real dad". I think the judge needs educated. Real dads discipline in love, they don't punish in anger. Real dads put themselves last, not first. Real dads protect, not destroy. Real dads don't hurt you until you cry, they hurt those who make you cry. Real dads spend summers leaning over the fence at the baseball field and go camping on rainy weekends in order to keep a promise. They pull their hair out over math homework and teach you how to change a tire. They stare down young men and set a good example of what their daughters should expect from their future husbands. They allow them to grow, while keeping their environment safe and stable. They give them away in marriage....but not completely. There are many "real dads" in my family that would not fit this woman's definition. Fathers through legal adoption, dads through inheritance by marriage, and dads who chose to remain dads even after divorce gave them a way out. Dads in my circle are dads forever. Not just when the law says they are, and not just to those who share their DNA. Sperm makes you a sperm donor. Your actions make you a father. Your Honor,since you don't seem to have any idea what the definition of real is, I'm posting the definition for you...just so you'll know. Real: of or relating to fixed, permanent, or immovable things : not artificial, fraudulent, or illusory : Real fathers are fixed, permanent and immovable. They are genuine, honest and real And, just so you know, this young lady doesn't carry my genes, either. I inherited her and her brother a couple years ago. But I am as real to her as the sun in the sky, the grass under her feet, and the man who tucks her in at night. The man she calls her real dad.

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