I am 46 years old, 5'4" and weigh in, at this moment, at 202. Now, most women would suffer unspeakable tortures before revealing such information. I figure there's no point to hiding , or lying about your age or your weight.
You don't look any younger or any skinnier if you do.
In 1983 I weighed 113 lbs. It's the least I have ever weighed as an adult. I was 17 years old, and my Drum Major skirt had a 23 inch waist. I still have that skirt, but now it fits around my thigh.
Not that it makes a good garter...
The truth of the matter is, I have been selfish. I have put the needs of my mouth over the needs of my body. I have put my desire for pleasure over my husband, my children, and my grandchildren. I have burdened my body with fat that affects my heart, my bones, my liver, and every other organ that is trying to purify what I toxify.
Fat people have no right to berate a smoker, or a drug user. The only difference is, our drug is legal and acceptable.
But it's still just as dangerous.
Fact is, I have to step back and own it. I am a fat girl. I have made choices that have brought me here. I have looked in the mirror, seen what I was doing, and chose to ignore it. I have provided for myself the pleasure of the flesh, and in doing so have damaged the first thing God ever entrusted me with...My own body. I have broken that trust.
Shame on me.
So, with forgiveness in hand, I embark upon this journey to regain what I lost, and lose what I so stupidly gained.
On Tuesday, February 14, I logged on to the Weight Watcher's site and signed up. I decided that maybe this would be the thing that changed my world.
But, I also know that in the end, the only thing that can change my world is me.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
who's the Boss?
Ephisians 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
"I may be the head of the household, boys, but my wife is the neck!"
My husband loves to throw that one-liner out during church functions. It hints at the fact that although women are supposed to be submissive, they are still a very integral part of a man's support system and decision making process. It takes an artful and graceful woman to walk that fine line between supporting and usurping. It takes a strong woman to stand back and say "It's your decision." It takes a discerning woman to gently guide that head back into the right direction.
Yes, as women, we are definitely the neck. Without us, the head would have no ability to see from all angles. Thus, being the neck holds much responsibility.
Submission has become somewhat of a dirty word with a negative connotation. We see a woman battered and abused by a controlling man. We see barefoot and pregnant, jumping up at the mere tinkling of an empty glass. We see a woman void of self-esteem and self-confidence, watching her life wither away and die.
It couldn't be farther from the truth.
Interestingly, in this passage, God commanded a woman to be submissive, but He did not command her to love her husband. He did, however, command the man to love his wife. In fact, the command was not just to love her, but love her enough to make sacrifices for her. To love her as Christ loved the church.
That is a really tall order.
So, we get a man (if we choose wisely) who will take responsibility for the decisions he makes, love us with a God kind of love, be willing to make sacrifices for us, cover us, protect us and even be willing to kill or die for us, and all we have to do is let him be the head of the family.
Wow...
Another saying my husband frequently throws out is:
"She treats me like a dog! She makes sure I have plenty to eat, and that I have a cold drink on a hot day, let's me lay my head in her lap, loves on me and tells me what a good boy I am. At night, she lets me snuggle up against her and scratches me in all the right places. She doesn't even yell at me when I make a mess in the house."
So ladies, don't get too worked up over that submission thing. When you really think about it, we get the better end of the deal.
Anyway, where would a head be without a neck? The body would just be a no-neck monster...
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
"I may be the head of the household, boys, but my wife is the neck!"
My husband loves to throw that one-liner out during church functions. It hints at the fact that although women are supposed to be submissive, they are still a very integral part of a man's support system and decision making process. It takes an artful and graceful woman to walk that fine line between supporting and usurping. It takes a strong woman to stand back and say "It's your decision." It takes a discerning woman to gently guide that head back into the right direction.
Yes, as women, we are definitely the neck. Without us, the head would have no ability to see from all angles. Thus, being the neck holds much responsibility.
Submission has become somewhat of a dirty word with a negative connotation. We see a woman battered and abused by a controlling man. We see barefoot and pregnant, jumping up at the mere tinkling of an empty glass. We see a woman void of self-esteem and self-confidence, watching her life wither away and die.
It couldn't be farther from the truth.
Interestingly, in this passage, God commanded a woman to be submissive, but He did not command her to love her husband. He did, however, command the man to love his wife. In fact, the command was not just to love her, but love her enough to make sacrifices for her. To love her as Christ loved the church.
That is a really tall order.
So, we get a man (if we choose wisely) who will take responsibility for the decisions he makes, love us with a God kind of love, be willing to make sacrifices for us, cover us, protect us and even be willing to kill or die for us, and all we have to do is let him be the head of the family.
Wow...
Another saying my husband frequently throws out is:
"She treats me like a dog! She makes sure I have plenty to eat, and that I have a cold drink on a hot day, let's me lay my head in her lap, loves on me and tells me what a good boy I am. At night, she lets me snuggle up against her and scratches me in all the right places. She doesn't even yell at me when I make a mess in the house."
So ladies, don't get too worked up over that submission thing. When you really think about it, we get the better end of the deal.
Anyway, where would a head be without a neck? The body would just be a no-neck monster...
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Mr. Fix it
My husband considers himself an average Joe. He has a blue collar job and a high school education.
But, in some ways, he one is of the most insightful philosophers I've ever met, showing me the difference between learned knowledge and God given wisdom.
He's been known to say things like:
"It's ok to bring baggage into a relationship, just don't live out of the suitcase."
or
"The most beautiful thing about a woman is her confidence."
We recently had a conversation concerning men and women and how relationships go sour. He said,
"Real men are fixers. That's what we do. As a rule, men deal with broken things on two levels. We either fix them, or dispose of them."
So I translated that into real life by asking "So how does that apply to relationships?"
He responded, "If I love you, and you are broken, then I will try to fix you. I will help you heal, care for you, hold you and be kind to you. But if you like being broken, and refuse help because that's your nature, then I'm disposing of you. We don't hold on to broken things very long. We will eventually toss them out.
Here's the thing," he said. "If all I ever hear out of your mouth is negative statements and complaining, I will try and find out why you are unhappy. Just like you always say, I can do things that please you, but I can't make you happy. That's your job. So if a man is in a relationship where all he hears is how bad her life is, and she's always complaining about something, never a positive statement, he will leave. There's no point to the relationship."
I took a moment to digest what initially appeared to be a harsh comment. Reading my mind as he often does he said, "That doesn't mean you can't have a bad day, or come to me to help you sort through an issue. That's part of my committment to you." He then said "You have never been broken. You have been in parts and pieces before, but you bring them to me and ask for help, and we work through it together. You've never desired to stay torn apart. Some women thrive on being broken, and they want to stay that way because it's all they know. Those women will never have a normal, healthy relationship.
You cannot carry around everything that has ever happened to you, every hurt you've ever felt, every name you've been called, every rejection you've ever been subjected to. You have to lay it down, realize there's more to you than all the negative, and move forward."
All of us, men and women alike, should take a long look at what we put into our relationship. Are we lifting our spouse up? Being encouraging and loving? Are we greeting each day with a positive attitude? Are we making that person who lives with us feel like they are a blessing in our lives?
Not every situation is the same, and there are some terrible people out there who have no idea how to love others. I have met them and have seen the damage they cause. However, it doesn't hurt to take stock of your relationship. It might be the difference between life and death....
But, in some ways, he one is of the most insightful philosophers I've ever met, showing me the difference between learned knowledge and God given wisdom.
He's been known to say things like:
"It's ok to bring baggage into a relationship, just don't live out of the suitcase."
or
"The most beautiful thing about a woman is her confidence."
We recently had a conversation concerning men and women and how relationships go sour. He said,
"Real men are fixers. That's what we do. As a rule, men deal with broken things on two levels. We either fix them, or dispose of them."
So I translated that into real life by asking "So how does that apply to relationships?"
He responded, "If I love you, and you are broken, then I will try to fix you. I will help you heal, care for you, hold you and be kind to you. But if you like being broken, and refuse help because that's your nature, then I'm disposing of you. We don't hold on to broken things very long. We will eventually toss them out.
Here's the thing," he said. "If all I ever hear out of your mouth is negative statements and complaining, I will try and find out why you are unhappy. Just like you always say, I can do things that please you, but I can't make you happy. That's your job. So if a man is in a relationship where all he hears is how bad her life is, and she's always complaining about something, never a positive statement, he will leave. There's no point to the relationship."
I took a moment to digest what initially appeared to be a harsh comment. Reading my mind as he often does he said, "That doesn't mean you can't have a bad day, or come to me to help you sort through an issue. That's part of my committment to you." He then said "You have never been broken. You have been in parts and pieces before, but you bring them to me and ask for help, and we work through it together. You've never desired to stay torn apart. Some women thrive on being broken, and they want to stay that way because it's all they know. Those women will never have a normal, healthy relationship.
You cannot carry around everything that has ever happened to you, every hurt you've ever felt, every name you've been called, every rejection you've ever been subjected to. You have to lay it down, realize there's more to you than all the negative, and move forward."
All of us, men and women alike, should take a long look at what we put into our relationship. Are we lifting our spouse up? Being encouraging and loving? Are we greeting each day with a positive attitude? Are we making that person who lives with us feel like they are a blessing in our lives?
Not every situation is the same, and there are some terrible people out there who have no idea how to love others. I have met them and have seen the damage they cause. However, it doesn't hurt to take stock of your relationship. It might be the difference between life and death....
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